To be read with a grain of Salt

Keep things on Instagram  light – literally

Try and get as much white in your picture as you can. White walls are your best friend, same goes for daylight. Also never underestimate the power of overexposure. It’ll make the shadows under your eyes seem way less worse. Yeah, right. The ones you’ve gotten in all those dark places that you went to. But nobody needs  or wants to know about that.

Make the food you actually only eat rarely into a healthy highlight

Açai Bowls and Avocado toasts all the way, all day, every day! Don’t just get up an hour earlier to fix that stuff, but also  be 30 mins late for work so you can catch the right light to make your breakfast look good. Or, if you’re smart, do it on a sunday morning, with a hangover, while you’re badly jonzeing that burger or a piece of last night’s pizza.

Photograph every travel destination

So you’ve been to Jakarta, Sofia and Cape Town? Good for you. Even if you’ve only spent a couple of hours there, make the best of every layover. If you filter it right, every lame train station will look like the center of the planet.

Master the art of nude make up

Unless you’re a famous make up artist, you should direct your energy towards mastering  your day look. This is your most important look. Take what you got in everyday life and then “enhance” it. Triple mascara – yes! A second shmear of that lipstick and gloss? Hell yeah! Highlighter (the party one, that you would never use in “real life”)? Sure, baby. Go for it!

👄 #nyxgermany #nyxcosmetics #nyxsoftmattelipcream #nyxistanbul #selfie #bun #brunette #justinbieberlovesu

A post shared by Nina & Tina (@lanalankowski) on

Your weapon… ehm, filter of Choice

We all take photos with our phones. We take a ton of them. And in retrospective all of them look exactly like what they are; 2k17 phone pictures. Now, that’s kind of unfortunate with all that 90’s aesthetic being en vogue. Neverfear though, thanks to VSCO (and other similar apps), you’ll manage to make your (portrait) photos  look like a poor man’s Peter Lindbergh-work.

Like

Yeah, Instagram is a reciprocal community

Comment

There are people that actually upload pictures they care about- not for the sake of instagram fame, but for what this app once used to be for: Instant sharing of imperfect joyous little glimpses in time. Now, we all know that the Açai Bowl brigade’s Instagram accounts  are  wonderful to look at and you should bestow them with “Mmmh, so yummy”s, but don’t forget the heart and soul of the true people that have Instagram accounts as well. They tend to be the most dedicated followers!

The right angle/ Strike a pose

Yes, you are right. There might be some body positive women on Instagram, that are even sharing the stories of their lives. And they probably are successful, but don’t you dare show yourself the way you are. We are all average and our inspiration should be drawn from our best average selves. So suck in your tummy  and never try to be anything less but instaperfect.

Back when for @thelinebyk 🔫

A post shared by Nadia Aboulhosn (@nadiaaboulhosn) on

Do provocative (and slightly dumb) stuff – and make it look easy

Now this one is for the pros- since a well composed imitation is far better than a lame original, you have the chance to dig deep – and get your inspiration from all the cigarette smoking heroine chic Kates from the 90’s. So drink, smoke and pretend it’s cool.

A good copy is better than bad original

Why would you bother and try something new or actually be creative, when there’s a million successful Instagram accounts out there, that all look alike. So stick to what works, don’t think for yourself and rather use this energy to spend more time on social media.

Go with your framing

Your whole life can be a complete mess and you can actually live on a junkyard. As long as you have one more or less trash free corner in your apartment, where you can put stuff and arrange it to look pretty. Also don’t forget to bother your boyfriend/best friend/mom/neighbor that finds you weird, in order to get that legs, bed and Açai bowl shot from above picture.

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