Somehow, I have this idea in my mind, that becoming a grown-up is supposed to be a gradual process. Like some sort of magical journey that leads you to a point, where you can proudly say: Yes! I’m a fucking grown ass woman now. Truth is that’s BS though. You will not get to that point, because if you did, you’d be like “Fuck, let’s go back in time!”
Nevertheless, adulthood has its good sides as well and here are some of them. This is our lovely Am I a grown-up yet checklist. And as always, if you got items to add or comments to leave, bring it on, we’re always happy to hear from you.
Your diet becomes healthier
At some point you decide to go with the salad after all, instead of stuffing your face with this delicious, fatty pizza that’s the size of the moon. Oh shit! It’s happening, you are making health choices like any responsible grown-up would. Next step will be you drinking ginger tea and eating quinoa, just because it makes you feel better in the morning, not to overstuff in the evening. You will even try to convince yourself that you favor that shitty bowl of quinoa over a tasty fucking burger, which will be a total lie, but if you keep trying, you’ll get there maybe. Or maybe not, you might pick up binge eating that fat, since you’ve depraved yourself and then feel guilty af about it! Well, congratulations, that’s also part of being a grown-up.
Convenience and comfort all of a sudden matter more than having a blast
So your friends are having this housewarming event on the other end of town and you are just not feeling the public transportation. You’d rather take your car and drive there and be home before midnight, in order to get a good nights sleep in, instead of doing tequila-shots with your homies and ending up in THE nightclub du jour. I mean, clubbing is overrated and you totally don’t want to put on high heels and spend money on overexpensive longdrinks, that you’d rather spend on this beautiful vase you saw the other day at the design fair. It’s just, you know, I mean, it’s not like you’re boring or anything, but heels really make your feet hurt and you feel to old to strut your stuff in the LBD.
You start having Grown-up conversations
Remember the good old high school days, when the most interesting topics were your peers hook-ups and Tracy the slut and OMG, that really cute dress at [insert big Swedish fashion retail company]. Yeah, this all kinda becomes boring just like sex talk with your girlfriends. What matters more now, are spirited conversations about the quality of bottled water, the most sensible electricity provider and the next free date to have a Sunday brunch on.
Yes, brunching is the peak of adult pastime activities. And also the secret behind Saturdays, that one spends at home. You give up on getting hammered on Saturday evening in some dirty, lousy night club by drinking horrible cheap booze, in order to be able to do it on Sundays and get your buzz on with some grown-up talk (see above) and sweet champagne. Another six oysters please, garcon!
Say hi to anxiety, your new around-the-clock-companion
So, you had a good run, while you were young. You felt invincible and endlessly optimistic. Things would fall into place one way or the other. Well, no worries, that’s in the past now! Welcome to the anxious world of grown-ups. Now you have a beautiful list of things to worry about, like your overall existence, that nasty allergy that developed just recently and also your noisy freaking frathouse-neighbors, that like to crank up the sound on a Thursday evening. I mean, how are you supposed to meditate yourself to sleep, when the music still that loud at 09.30 p.m?
You’re looking forward to running errands
Remember the time, when all you wanted is to play for a another five minutes with your friend before dinnertime? Oh, sweet memories. Nowadays you feel really glad, when you manage to get shit done during the weekend. Paint that bedroom wall? Yes, please. Go grocery shopping for Curry night with friends? Definetely. Have two extra hours to get work done? Hell, yeah!
Design all of a suddens matters
So, back to that really neat vase that you’ve seen at the antique market? Hmm, wait a second, will it fit your dining room concept? Mix and match might be en vogue, but you’ve always been more of a modern furniture kind of gal, haven’t you? One of the characteristics of grown-ups is that the sofa that you’ve bought from your friend’s frathouse cohabitants is just not cutting it anymore, you don’t want to live like an animal, a grown-up responsible person like you really deserves better *sigh*.
You don’t understand the ways of teenagers anymore
And last, but not least, there are some things that you really don’t get anymore. The older you get, the more you lose your understanding for teenage behavior. Like, why do they use this weird lingo all the time? And don’t they have moms and dads to forbid them to wear such horrible clothes? Why is it hip to look like a porn star all of a sudden? And what the hell is musical.ly? So many questions, so little understanding. It’s time for a cup of tea and a good book anyway…